A fate worse than Chocobo Training
Aug. 8th, 2004 02:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dagas_isaI had a dream some nights ago. Somehow this one invovling DVDs the size of keychains and my getting surgery on my stomach and using that as an excuse for something. I remember the person responding to me: "Yeah, well, I'm recovering from surgery too." and my proving that my surgical excuse was bigger than their surgical excuse because I had mine yesterday.
Oh yes, and strong Xenosaga hate, over here. How strong? Yesterday and today, I spent my videogame time playing FFX mini-games to avoid this. Chocobo Training. Blitzball. The Maca-frika-lania butterfly game. Namco, when someone can honestly say that they prefer the most sadistic set of mini-games in the world to your RPG, then it's time to figure out how to make the sequel not suck. Trust me.
First, I would recommend that you not find the worst pseudo-intellectuals on the internet, give them dictionaries of psychological terms and religious allusions and ask them to write your games for you. Yes, I understand that it saves money, but I'm sure that crack-smoking monkeys are also cheaper than say, hiring a team of acclaimed writers, and the game would make a semblence of sense.
Second, don't use fanboy fantasy drawings as inspiration for your heroine. Because yes, Shion Uzuki is probably the ideal mate for all those fanboys. Unrealistic body proportions, brainy-looking but not actually intelligent, and good at smiling and nodding. Too bad she seems to have those things.. what are they called? Oh yes, standards. That's the only compliment that I'm actually going to give Shion. Also, she's good at lucking out.
Third, whoever created MOMO, please turn yourself in to the police, or whoever the child molestors go to in order to make sure that the authorities can keep tabs on you because guess what? 12-year-old panty shots. Not good. Especially because it's pretty obvious that you make her 12 years old just so you could give her a little bit of boobs and hips to turn on the similarly pedophilic fanboys. Your mother is ashamed of you. And MOMO still acts like she's six.
Fourth: Why the cutscenes? Why? You know, I'm all for the plot development and all that, but when I can make tea and probably drink it before I have to pick up the controller, and it's not the finale, that's a sign of excess. Yeah...
On a positive note, I like Ziggy and Jr. (though not as a pairing or anything) and getting to blow up random stuff is cool.
So Dagas is going all out on the FFX mini-games, and yes, she can now be considered among the pathetic few who have managed to activate all of the ultimate weapons. That includes playing at least half a day's worth of blitzball and probably more and being a rat in Macalania's butterfly maze. And Chocobo-training still wins as the most sadistic of games. See, blitzball takes hours upon hours, but there are at least rewards for going through with the whole thing, useful overdrives for Wakka for one. And the butterfly game has the grace to remain the same each turn, so once you figure out a clear path past a butterfly, it always works. Hence, why it's like a rat in the maze thing, oh yes, and it only takes a short while depending on coordination and the pace of learning. The lightning bolt dodging... not that bad. Sure it takes a while, but I like Lulu and the little Onion Knight kicks ass. And I've never heard anyone complaining about the other three (Rikku's, Yuna's, and Auron's).
Chocobo-training... ugh. Me-chan says that she can spend hours playing that game. Well, I say that you have to if you want a chance to get that Sun Sigil. Because no matter how good one gets at playing it, to get the required time (0.0) one must luck out. At lot. The Chocobo's are just caught so they're still high from the 'Gyshal Greens' and the birds apparently have some chocobo-vendetta. It might be addicting in some mind-numbing way, like Minesweeper, only without the actual fun clicky and blowing things up.
And that's it for being shallow.
Work has been kinda... ugh for me lately. Like I'm having trouble getting there, working when I am there, and staying there. Weeding is monotonous, especially because all the interesting bugs are gone. So I'm just looking at the butterflies and the colors of the flowers and sky. I'm convinced that the sky is purple now, like if someone took that little paint dropper thing that's part of any digital art program and dragged to the deepest blue of an afternoon sky, it would be a very bluish lavender color. *shrugs* Like I said, I'm bored. If I didn't think I was being watched, yeah, I'd go cloud gazing. That yard is just begging to be the scene for lazy summering.
I have a rant somewhere that I started months ago, and I'll post that later.
Over and out.
Oh yes, and strong Xenosaga hate, over here. How strong? Yesterday and today, I spent my videogame time playing FFX mini-games to avoid this. Chocobo Training. Blitzball. The Maca-frika-lania butterfly game. Namco, when someone can honestly say that they prefer the most sadistic set of mini-games in the world to your RPG, then it's time to figure out how to make the sequel not suck. Trust me.
First, I would recommend that you not find the worst pseudo-intellectuals on the internet, give them dictionaries of psychological terms and religious allusions and ask them to write your games for you. Yes, I understand that it saves money, but I'm sure that crack-smoking monkeys are also cheaper than say, hiring a team of acclaimed writers, and the game would make a semblence of sense.
Second, don't use fanboy fantasy drawings as inspiration for your heroine. Because yes, Shion Uzuki is probably the ideal mate for all those fanboys. Unrealistic body proportions, brainy-looking but not actually intelligent, and good at smiling and nodding. Too bad she seems to have those things.. what are they called? Oh yes, standards. That's the only compliment that I'm actually going to give Shion. Also, she's good at lucking out.
Third, whoever created MOMO, please turn yourself in to the police, or whoever the child molestors go to in order to make sure that the authorities can keep tabs on you because guess what? 12-year-old panty shots. Not good. Especially because it's pretty obvious that you make her 12 years old just so you could give her a little bit of boobs and hips to turn on the similarly pedophilic fanboys. Your mother is ashamed of you. And MOMO still acts like she's six.
Fourth: Why the cutscenes? Why? You know, I'm all for the plot development and all that, but when I can make tea and probably drink it before I have to pick up the controller, and it's not the finale, that's a sign of excess. Yeah...
On a positive note, I like Ziggy and Jr. (though not as a pairing or anything) and getting to blow up random stuff is cool.
So Dagas is going all out on the FFX mini-games, and yes, she can now be considered among the pathetic few who have managed to activate all of the ultimate weapons. That includes playing at least half a day's worth of blitzball and probably more and being a rat in Macalania's butterfly maze. And Chocobo-training still wins as the most sadistic of games. See, blitzball takes hours upon hours, but there are at least rewards for going through with the whole thing, useful overdrives for Wakka for one. And the butterfly game has the grace to remain the same each turn, so once you figure out a clear path past a butterfly, it always works. Hence, why it's like a rat in the maze thing, oh yes, and it only takes a short while depending on coordination and the pace of learning. The lightning bolt dodging... not that bad. Sure it takes a while, but I like Lulu and the little Onion Knight kicks ass. And I've never heard anyone complaining about the other three (Rikku's, Yuna's, and Auron's).
Chocobo-training... ugh. Me-chan says that she can spend hours playing that game. Well, I say that you have to if you want a chance to get that Sun Sigil. Because no matter how good one gets at playing it, to get the required time (0.0) one must luck out. At lot. The Chocobo's are just caught so they're still high from the 'Gyshal Greens' and the birds apparently have some chocobo-vendetta. It might be addicting in some mind-numbing way, like Minesweeper, only without the actual fun clicky and blowing things up.
And that's it for being shallow.
Work has been kinda... ugh for me lately. Like I'm having trouble getting there, working when I am there, and staying there. Weeding is monotonous, especially because all the interesting bugs are gone. So I'm just looking at the butterflies and the colors of the flowers and sky. I'm convinced that the sky is purple now, like if someone took that little paint dropper thing that's part of any digital art program and dragged to the deepest blue of an afternoon sky, it would be a very bluish lavender color. *shrugs* Like I said, I'm bored. If I didn't think I was being watched, yeah, I'd go cloud gazing. That yard is just begging to be the scene for lazy summering.
I have a rant somewhere that I started months ago, and I'll post that later.
Over and out.
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-08 09:32 pm (UTC)