Keep running....

Yeah, I've been a jerk, lately. And honestly, I would like to make it better, but the problem is that I don't know how. Sure it's okay to say that if I do A and B then likely C will happen and things will be better all around. The problem is that A and B are things that are uncharacteristic of me or things that are better said than done.

But what do I do? I run. Away. With that whole icky tail between my legs analogy thing going on too. On one hand, it's a good thing to talk to people and not be lonely and crap. On the other hand every fegging person knows that I've been a jerk. And yeah... so I don't want to have to face any wrath that's coming from them. Even if I deserve it all. Especially because I deserve it all, or I feel that way. So blah on me. Or blah on all of you.

I don't know how bad this is yet. Not nearly as bad as what I put you through, but enough that... I don't know. I can't actually bring myself to talk to anyone anymore. Not without feeling afraid.

On the bright side, maybe I can start getting something productive done.

Over and out.