Dagas is t3h suxx0rs.

[dagas_isa]

Yeah, I'm going on an "I"m not good enough rampage" and you can't stop me. I figure everyone else is back to normal, so I can finally lose everything.

Not really. Just a little lonely, and empty right now. Convinced that what talent I have really doesn't do anything for anyone else. Generally feeling inferior.The basics. All the things are mainly my fault anyway.

If I could RP my characters worth anything. If I could get off my lazy butt and actually write something in any of the numerous fic ideas I have. If I could actually *gasp* read some of the chapters in my textbooks, then I would actually be worth something. I know that Me-chan is going to try and convince me that I'm worth something, but ya know, I just don't feel like hearing it right now. I'd rather'd see it in some sort of tangible applied context that I'm worth something. It's a screwed up priority, but I have it.

Yesh, so I want to be the best. And I don't wanna try. That's a bad combination right there, as it pretty much says that I'm never going to be satisfied and I'm never going to achieve.

Just ....

Over and out.

Comments

[sapphynashi.livejournal.com]

*ambles in* You RP very well. Your characters are some of the better ones we've seen. *nods, ambles off*

[paradiseloop.livejournal.com]

I feel that way alot myself. I feel that way particularly because...somebody very dear to me and very far away just asked me how close she can get to someone else last night.

School, writing, art, I can't do any of it...because I just feel too broken.

I haven't run into your characters anywhere, so I just can't say as to how talented you are or aren't. I'm willing to say that, from what I know of you, you're a very worthwhile person to get to know.

[sphekiko.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry things are going so poorly between you and your dearest one right now. Hopefully, you'll work it out.

And you have seen one of my characters at work. The male avatar I use is actually a character of mine, and I know he's posted on your thread. ^_^

*big hug*

[paradiseloop.livejournal.com]

I think it is worked out. In a way. I'm...letting go. It's all I can do so long as she feels that way.

I have a thread? o.O;;

[sphekiko.livejournal.com]

Sorry, but I consider the H/R/A/M thread to be yours now. You are, after all the ruler. ^_^

[naela.livejournal.com]

Dagas, you so do not suck! We all loves ya and we love how you RP Lana. She is the sweetest and cutest character I've ever seen!

[sphekiko.livejournal.com]

Lana thanks you, although she um... objects to the way I RP her. But thanks for the vote of confidence.

[kmegumi2.livejournal.com]

Dagas, you know what I'm thinking because you've heard it all before. You know that everyone has a skewed view of their own accomplishments and their own worth, and I've seen you getting appalled at other people for going off about how they suck when you can so obviously see that the don't. Isn't it the same here? You tell yourself that your RP skills are no good, but you know, we keep inviting you back. And so what if haven't written anything lately? Writing's supposed to be a hobby and for fun. I would like to compare it to my recent attempts to play go. I suck eggs at go. Does it matter? No, because it's supposed to be something that I just enjoy doing. So what if others write more or you think they write better than you do? It doesn't mean your writing isn't worth reading, and it certainly doesn't mean it's not worth doing, but if you don't feel like writing, it's not supposed to be something that you make yourself do.

And it's not like you haven't been doing things all these weeks past. It seems you're making quite a name for yourself on Gaia, and you've been developing all sorts of cool ideas. So what if they're only in your head? I have all sorts of epic daydreams that never go anywhere. Doesn't mean they aren't worth having.

I know, most of these words are probably wasted, and I hope I haven't made you feel like I'm "above" your situation and just aren't relating. I think you know me well enough to know that I've heard your arguments and see your reasons and understand as much as I can why you feel the way you do. But I had to say this to you if only to expand on what I always say and maybe not say the same old thing for once.

And you know what? Last Friday you were there for me more than anyone else was. I mean...do you have any idea how much it meant to me that you brought Excel Saga? That you thought of that and decided to bring it? Because it showed me that you were thinking about me before you came, that you didn't just go with the obvious solution and come over for cookie and to let me vent. You tried to think of a specific surprise that might work to cheer me up. And I even know that Excel Saga certainly isn't your favorite movie and you probably never would have brought it if I hadn't expressed interest in seeing it on previous occasions. In short, you were really thinking about me and went out of your way to show how much you cared even though the situation on Friday was really one that I had brought upon myself. Do you know what that means to me?

I hope something I've said here has helped you if only in some tiny way. If going on like this does more harm than help, let me know, and I won't do it again. But just try to realize how much we care for you! I say we because, you know, it's not just me. Dagas is not worthless, no matter how much she may try to convince herself that she is.

[sphekiko.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I really am. I can see that I've been upsetting you. *counts the number of typos* Yep, I've been upsetting you.

And I'm honored that you think so highly of me. You bring out the best in me, ya know. Everyone helps, but you're just .... you. ^_^ And Dagas means that in the best of ways. You really do help me. *hugs* You're just the best.

But yeah, I know I'm worth something, even if I feel I'm not sometimes. I just have the wrong priorities, that's all.

Anyway, I feel better now. Sorry for upsetting you, especially because you've been kinda sick lately.

メちゃんが 好だよ｡ 私の一播大切な人だよ。

Thank you very much.