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Weird feelings
Oct. 8th, 2005 06:12 pmFirst, there's this compulsion to express myself. I want to write. I want to draw. I want to sing. The urge to just pour my creative energy into something is overwhelming. Hence this fury of world building. My internet goes out for an evening, and so instead of studying for a midterm in the computer lab, I spend all my time here working on the Axis!language.
And then there's this compulstion to just not talk to people. I love you all. Really and honestly. But I don't feel comfortable talking in general. I think even Muu knows this, just by the fact that I literally feel so self conscious talking to him while my roommate is in the room. Maybe there are a lot of things I want to express, but they're very hard to put as I want them put. Meh. Or maybe I'm afraid of you all. Rawr!
They contradict, and I understand it.
I also have this desire to be not so nice in general anymore. That's bad, Dagas knows. And so she's fighting it, but she's just not wanting to be quiet about so many things, or take them sitting down. This hasn't really expressed itself in real life so much as in the otherworld, but the fact that it's there bothers me.
And yet, now that some people I know are going through hard times, I would like to be there for them, or help them out in some way.
Sometimes, I have this tendency to bring people together by linking them in an LJ entry because they have something in common or are talking about the same thing at the same time. Now I'm feeling a desire to link together two people but I'm hesitant. One, both of them are demographically pretty different. Two, this link isn't really a happy fun link like a common interest/obsession, or really anything common at all. I just think one is going through a hard time and needs help and the other can relate on a much better scale than I ever could, having never experienced anything like this.
Maaa....kind of weird.
So I will shut up now.
Over and out.
And then there's this compulstion to just not talk to people. I love you all. Really and honestly. But I don't feel comfortable talking in general. I think even Muu knows this, just by the fact that I literally feel so self conscious talking to him while my roommate is in the room. Maybe there are a lot of things I want to express, but they're very hard to put as I want them put. Meh. Or maybe I'm afraid of you all. Rawr!
They contradict, and I understand it.
I also have this desire to be not so nice in general anymore. That's bad, Dagas knows. And so she's fighting it, but she's just not wanting to be quiet about so many things, or take them sitting down. This hasn't really expressed itself in real life so much as in the otherworld, but the fact that it's there bothers me.
And yet, now that some people I know are going through hard times, I would like to be there for them, or help them out in some way.
Sometimes, I have this tendency to bring people together by linking them in an LJ entry because they have something in common or are talking about the same thing at the same time. Now I'm feeling a desire to link together two people but I'm hesitant. One, both of them are demographically pretty different. Two, this link isn't really a happy fun link like a common interest/obsession, or really anything common at all. I just think one is going through a hard time and needs help and the other can relate on a much better scale than I ever could, having never experienced anything like this.
Maaa....kind of weird.
So I will shut up now.
Over and out.
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