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Jan. 18th, 2009 03:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dagas_isaTitle: Saying Goodbye
Word Count: 658
Rating: G
Summary: Sometimes words aren't sufficient.
How could he explain his disappearance to Natalia?
That question ate at him since even before he broke the Shadow's bargain, but now that he felt so disconnected, that the fading had to be imminent, it took a new urgency.
He would think on it while he did the paperwork she requested. Yes, they found the vent. Yes, they had investigated. No, the Sadiri could not get open access at the time. Strange, that in this lightheaded state he languished in, he could still fill out forms near-perfectly. Starting at midnight, he still had hours before dawn.
The consequences. Oh, the One knew he had not considered what would happen when the leaders found out that Mier no longer stood with Natalia. She could be held responsible, would be, most likely. If she panicked in the morning and reported his disappearance, she could be dead by the springtime.
That would not do.
Mier opened the desk drawer, removed a sheet of paper, and gathered ink. He wrote slowly. The pen slipped from his distant hands, and he had never been skilled in writing the official script anyway. "I have left of my own will," the letter said when he was done "If I do not return, I kindly request that Natalia Blade not be held liable for my fate." Ink dried quickly, must more quickly than it took for him to finish the letter. He folded the paper in quarters, the official manner for letters, and placed it within the creases of his report. Then he sealed both Natalia's and his reports in the envelope and addressed it. Natalia would find it in the morning.
He should leave her a letter, a good bye, or something. Words left unspoken now, would remain so forever. Memories unrecorded would disappear.
And yet, hovered over another blank sheet of paper, no words came.
Mier put the pen down. He lied too often to Natalia now, words would mean nothing. If he said he loved her, if he said he didn't, what would they matter? In the last remaining bit of his human heart he felt the twinges of regret for his situation.
It also gave him an idea. From his box on the desk, he grabbed the tiny pair of sewing scissors. And with as much solidity he could manage, pulled the coat from his shoulders. Sewn into the lining, he had sewn a smooth wooden ring. Natalia always thought he had thrown his away. Certainly they never spoke of what happened to either of theirs once they left Chentin, but now, It was the only way he could communicate.
He closed his eyes. The guilt he once felt for searching withered away, and he answered his question for once. Natalia had kept her token as well. Mier walked into her bedroom, opened her bag, and into the hidden pocket, where it wait, as polished and smooth as it had been six years ago.
Like the dead, she slept, sound without peace. Carefully, slowly, Mier opened one of her clenched fists and placed the two wooden rings in her hand.
"I'm sorry." Mier knelt down, face to sleeping face. "I was a horrible partner to you." His lips brushed against her forehead, and stroked her cheek with his hand. He felt nothing, and yet he could not let go. Everything faded now, his body, his mind, his will. From that last reservoir, he drew a remaining bit of power. "Don't forget me. I did always love you." Would she believe?
"Mier..." Natalia called his name, never waking up.
She would believe.
With one last kiss, on the lips, he rewarded her. Eight years together, since the day they met, Mier could imagine no one and nothing better to spend his last touch on.
He closed his eyes, so that he only felt, not watched, his body fade away into the dark and the dry. The world grew distant.
"Good bye."
Word Count: 658
Rating: G
Summary: Sometimes words aren't sufficient.
How could he explain his disappearance to Natalia?
That question ate at him since even before he broke the Shadow's bargain, but now that he felt so disconnected, that the fading had to be imminent, it took a new urgency.
He would think on it while he did the paperwork she requested. Yes, they found the vent. Yes, they had investigated. No, the Sadiri could not get open access at the time. Strange, that in this lightheaded state he languished in, he could still fill out forms near-perfectly. Starting at midnight, he still had hours before dawn.
The consequences. Oh, the One knew he had not considered what would happen when the leaders found out that Mier no longer stood with Natalia. She could be held responsible, would be, most likely. If she panicked in the morning and reported his disappearance, she could be dead by the springtime.
That would not do.
Mier opened the desk drawer, removed a sheet of paper, and gathered ink. He wrote slowly. The pen slipped from his distant hands, and he had never been skilled in writing the official script anyway. "I have left of my own will," the letter said when he was done "If I do not return, I kindly request that Natalia Blade not be held liable for my fate." Ink dried quickly, must more quickly than it took for him to finish the letter. He folded the paper in quarters, the official manner for letters, and placed it within the creases of his report. Then he sealed both Natalia's and his reports in the envelope and addressed it. Natalia would find it in the morning.
He should leave her a letter, a good bye, or something. Words left unspoken now, would remain so forever. Memories unrecorded would disappear.
And yet, hovered over another blank sheet of paper, no words came.
Mier put the pen down. He lied too often to Natalia now, words would mean nothing. If he said he loved her, if he said he didn't, what would they matter? In the last remaining bit of his human heart he felt the twinges of regret for his situation.
It also gave him an idea. From his box on the desk, he grabbed the tiny pair of sewing scissors. And with as much solidity he could manage, pulled the coat from his shoulders. Sewn into the lining, he had sewn a smooth wooden ring. Natalia always thought he had thrown his away. Certainly they never spoke of what happened to either of theirs once they left Chentin, but now, It was the only way he could communicate.
He closed his eyes. The guilt he once felt for searching withered away, and he answered his question for once. Natalia had kept her token as well. Mier walked into her bedroom, opened her bag, and into the hidden pocket, where it wait, as polished and smooth as it had been six years ago.
Like the dead, she slept, sound without peace. Carefully, slowly, Mier opened one of her clenched fists and placed the two wooden rings in her hand.
"I'm sorry." Mier knelt down, face to sleeping face. "I was a horrible partner to you." His lips brushed against her forehead, and stroked her cheek with his hand. He felt nothing, and yet he could not let go. Everything faded now, his body, his mind, his will. From that last reservoir, he drew a remaining bit of power. "Don't forget me. I did always love you." Would she believe?
"Mier..." Natalia called his name, never waking up.
She would believe.
With one last kiss, on the lips, he rewarded her. Eight years together, since the day they met, Mier could imagine no one and nothing better to spend his last touch on.
He closed his eyes, so that he only felt, not watched, his body fade away into the dark and the dry. The world grew distant.
"Good bye."
