Why Dagas apologizes for everything

[dagas_isa]

Cue Crap. Don't like Crap drama, don't read. Kinda simple, that is.

I've got a stupid guilt complex. If I dare start up a conversation, I'm imposing on someone's time. Espeically Megumi because she has no escape from me.

This is irrational, and leads to feelings of rejection that neither exist or have rational reasons for doing so. But I have to apologize for imposing, because, well that's what I do when I don't know if I'm wanted or not.

Usually this is just annoying for a lot of people, but like what happened today with Me-chan and I, I've done stupid things because of this fear of rejection. She's over it because she's so awesome and some such. I'm not because I'm a rotten core of human flesh. No I'm not. I'm just prone to keeping things in mind and not putting them aside.

So, Megumi, I'm sorry. And if you're still hurt, let me know. Because you deserve something better than Dagas, or at least a better Dagas.

Over and out.

And for those wondering why I am amused... let's just say that as hilarious as that IM is, it shall never see the light of LiveJournal.

Comments

[paradiseloop.livejournal.com]

IM me more!

I gaurantee I won't hold it against you.

probably uncalled for... but i felt compelled

[(Anonymous)]

*tackles and pins to the ground* This might be the lack of sleep talking badly, but I'm saying it anyways and you're going to listen.

First of all, I'm sorry I haven't IMed you a whole lot lately. I don't IM a lot of people I should, and as of this week, homework has consumed my soul. I'll try to bug you more often. ^ ^

Secondly, change is hard. Physically is hard but worthwhile. Mentally takes effort. For every negative, there is a positive. Sometimes that negative voice wins, but listen hard. The positive one is there arguing and shouting at the top of its lungs for you to listen. Focus on it and realize, you can do it. You have a wonderful mind, two talented hands, and an open heart to allow a bunch of us crazy people in as friends.
Honestly, I enjoy spending time with you and Megs more than with the people here on my floor. I can rant to you, and you to me. We corrupt Megs and we enjoy her reaction. Compatriot, what am I to do if you hide away? What am I to do with a sad Dagas or no Dagas at all? I can help for one. And that's all I can offer. If you want to go for a walk, get a hold of me. Breaks are always welcome if you don't mind my sawdust.

We're all here for you, just listen and realize... you mean more to us than what you think. You have talent. You have the smarts. Use them... Don't let this stiffling place of bad roomies and truckloads of homework wear you down. You're stronger than that. You're Dagas. You. ARE. YOU. You survived BHS. You've lived 19 years of your life relatively unscathed. That's an accomplihment. That's an excellent start to a great and wonderful life you will lead. And I know for a fact, you will live a grand life.

I can't picture my college years and beyond without my buddy. I don't want to. I'd rather think of the talks we'll have, the parties we might go to, and the people we'll meet. I like the idea of proudly introducing you to other friends and them finding you more interesting than I said you would be.

So, please, Dagas, buddy, compatriot in corruption, j-pop aficionado, super intelligent, government class cohort, engaging and excellent writer, RP addict and online obsessed, find something golden and hold on it. Hold on to that lasting beauty, the shimmering dream of a better tomorrow, and meet all of us with a genuine smile.