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My little life of delusions.
Jun. 29th, 2004 06:28 pmNote, a lot of this sounds messed up and Square-level crack induced, but I swear, I'm clean, but I just have way too much time to think. So welcome to my reality seen through my eyes.
My last entry that I wrote, but that didn't end up getting posted because of the stupid LJ issues. It was about the Monday before last, the rain, why the bus system of the western Chicago suburbs are the suxxors compared to those down in Chambana, getting caught shoplifting a CD that I paid for and other retail blunders, and ending up making a mistake that had me walking home from the Metra station in the town north of mine and on the way having a Hispanic guy propose to me. And yeah... my Spanish really, really sucks, and that was the most important thing about that.
Okay. The most current news is that my family is dog-sitting again. For Strider and not the Demon Beagles. Which rocks. Because Strider has finally mellowed out, so he pretty much is a good dog now, if posessed of a bit of a jealous streak. Seriously, whenever one of us goes to pet Maggie, Strider takes advantage of his larger size and literally puts himself between the hand and the other doggie. It must pain him to not be the favorite dog. But Maggie is actually worse with whining, and he doesn't yip as much, although he is almost as big a wuss as my favorite Australian Shepherd. Almost. Maggie's kitten phobia puts her over the top though.
Anyway, one annoying habit that Strider seems to still have despite having all of his male doggy reproductive parts taken off, or at least the functional parts, is the whole nose in the crotch thing. And that leads me to the first delusion of the day. And note: The more prudish of you might want to skip this.
I figure, if past lives exist, Strider must have been an old lech in his last one. On his death bed, Previous Life Strider thought about what he'd want to come back as. So he asked himself, "What creature or person can I come back as that would allow me to have a up close and personal look at however many crotches that I desire without fear of consequence?" Upon seeing this, he noticed his dog, a collie with a long pointy snout sniffing at the skirt of one of his maids and --viola!-- he knew exactly what he was coming back as. And Lo and Behold, Strider the Big Lug and Ultimate Pervert Collie was born. Obviously he didn't think so much about the neutering part, so I'm guessing he's not all that bright.
The other big part of my life that isn't video games, and I'm sick of doing entries that are soley about that, is work. I'm sure there's some glamourous name that I could give my job. But essentially, I weed. I weed a lot, and the sun bakes my brain as I listen to the KH soundtrack over and over again each day.
And in this particular delusion, I am the destroyer of habitat. Each day thousands of insects lose their beautiful green canopies of shelter because of the giant that comes and tears the greeness from the ground. Tormented from losing their homes, these brave insects (and arachnids, lets not forget the spiders) have launched an assault on this giant. Noble mosquitoes swarm around, hoping that if enough of them come and feast from the giant, she will perhaps fall. However her great Deet Sheild protects her and other plans must be made, for the mosquito warriors alone cannot drive her away from their cities....
And I have more work related delusions that have to wait for next time. Because I just got kicked.
Over and out.
My last entry that I wrote, but that didn't end up getting posted because of the stupid LJ issues. It was about the Monday before last, the rain, why the bus system of the western Chicago suburbs are the suxxors compared to those down in Chambana, getting caught shoplifting a CD that I paid for and other retail blunders, and ending up making a mistake that had me walking home from the Metra station in the town north of mine and on the way having a Hispanic guy propose to me. And yeah... my Spanish really, really sucks, and that was the most important thing about that.
Okay. The most current news is that my family is dog-sitting again. For Strider and not the Demon Beagles. Which rocks. Because Strider has finally mellowed out, so he pretty much is a good dog now, if posessed of a bit of a jealous streak. Seriously, whenever one of us goes to pet Maggie, Strider takes advantage of his larger size and literally puts himself between the hand and the other doggie. It must pain him to not be the favorite dog. But Maggie is actually worse with whining, and he doesn't yip as much, although he is almost as big a wuss as my favorite Australian Shepherd. Almost. Maggie's kitten phobia puts her over the top though.
Anyway, one annoying habit that Strider seems to still have despite having all of his male doggy reproductive parts taken off, or at least the functional parts, is the whole nose in the crotch thing. And that leads me to the first delusion of the day. And note: The more prudish of you might want to skip this.
I figure, if past lives exist, Strider must have been an old lech in his last one. On his death bed, Previous Life Strider thought about what he'd want to come back as. So he asked himself, "What creature or person can I come back as that would allow me to have a up close and personal look at however many crotches that I desire without fear of consequence?" Upon seeing this, he noticed his dog, a collie with a long pointy snout sniffing at the skirt of one of his maids and --viola!-- he knew exactly what he was coming back as. And Lo and Behold, Strider the Big Lug and Ultimate Pervert Collie was born. Obviously he didn't think so much about the neutering part, so I'm guessing he's not all that bright.
The other big part of my life that isn't video games, and I'm sick of doing entries that are soley about that, is work. I'm sure there's some glamourous name that I could give my job. But essentially, I weed. I weed a lot, and the sun bakes my brain as I listen to the KH soundtrack over and over again each day.
And in this particular delusion, I am the destroyer of habitat. Each day thousands of insects lose their beautiful green canopies of shelter because of the giant that comes and tears the greeness from the ground. Tormented from losing their homes, these brave insects (and arachnids, lets not forget the spiders) have launched an assault on this giant. Noble mosquitoes swarm around, hoping that if enough of them come and feast from the giant, she will perhaps fall. However her great Deet Sheild protects her and other plans must be made, for the mosquito warriors alone cannot drive her away from their cities....
And I have more work related delusions that have to wait for next time. Because I just got kicked.
Over and out.
