ext_79737: (Default)
Auronlu ([identity profile] auronlu.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] dagas_isa 2006-10-14 09:25 pm (UTC)

I hope you're stringing these all together and posting them on a fanfic archive as one story; it's quiet, but one of those fanfics so true to character that having read it, I can never think of these events as having happened another way.

Yuna wanting to slip out without talking to anyone, and Kimahri understanding, is particularly touching. In a way, he understands the feeling from recent experiences.


Second chapter:
"but when [she] felt like crying as others laughed"
"Together, a tower **of** made of a human girl and her enormous guardian"

First chapter:
A few misplaced "it's". Its = a possessive pronoun, like his, her, your, my, our. They're possessive by nature, so they don't need apostrophes. An apostrophe is used to turn an ordinary noun into a possessive (John's, cat's) or to indicate a dropped letter in a contraction (it's = "it is").

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